Sixteen steps in the writing process.

Sixteen steps in the writing process.
  1. Have an idea. A small idea. Not even a fleshed-out idea. Just a stray thought. Who knows where thoughts come from; they just appear.
  2. Start to write thoughts down. Hey! Sentences are happening!
  3. Realize what you are writing is boring. As. Shit.
  4. Realize this is because you are afraid to commit to anything that might sound like an actual opinion.
  5. Overcome! Fight! Form an opinion!
  6. Write down opinion. Feel like a goddamn champion.
  7. Take a break, champion. Go stroll Twitter. See what folks are saying.
  8. See tweets comprised of:
      • Strong opinions
      • Rebuttals to strong opinions
      • People calling bullshit on rebuttals and original opinions
      • An article tearing apart whatever the latest industry trend is
      • An article tearing apart the tear-apart
      • Strong opinions and rebuttals about the tear-apart war
      • A billionty tweets saying “Seize the day!” “Write more!” “Why aren’t you publishing more stuff!” “Life is short!”
  9. Return to your half-post. Realize that no one is going to like it. It’s preaching to the choir of people who support you, and pissing off (or worse, not even reaching) everyone else. Your tone of voice is all wrong. Who’s your audience, really? I mean who are you trying to convince? No one is going to listen to this. Besides, you obviously don’t have all the information necessary to produce solid writing. Surely you formed this opinion through ignorance – you obviously don’t know all the sides of the issue. And you can’t share your thoughts unless they’ve been rigorously exposed to all counterarguments. Thinking must be airtight. It would be embarrassing to publish an opinion only to find out that you simply didn’t have all the facts, thus offending others, sounding like a naive fool, and never being taken seriously in the industry again. Better get more context. More context. More context.
  10. Delete post.
  11. This is dumb.
  12. Writing is dumb. Internet is dumb. Your face is dumb.
  13. Post this instead.
  14. Wonder why you’re obsessed with context.
  15. Wonder why you never write about the stuff you care about.
  16. Wait three months. Return to step 1.

This is my favorite.

Why am I sharing a video of an adorable hedgehog getting tickled? A better question is, why wouldn’t I share this? I am very profesh.

Aaaaaaaaand we’re back.

Aaaaaaaaand we’re back.

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Tell me a story about [YOUR NAME HERE]

Tell me a story about [YOUR NAME HERE]

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